Questions and Answers

Questions and Answers

On this questions and answers page, I seek to answer some frequently asked questions. They must be important to you, or you’d never have asked them in the first place.

If you should think of anything you can’t see listed, or answered here, then please let me know. It might very well prove useful to other men, too.

A little note about personal questions:

I get asked a lot about my personal details, and what I do with, or to, other clients during a massage. You will be disappointed.  Save your texts, emails and phone calls, because I won’t be answering them.

Where are you based?

My studio is based in Acton, in the borough of Ealing, in West London. It’s in Birkbeck Road. The post code is W3 6BG.

For the purposes of discretion, the actual house number/ name will be disclosed to you only when you make an appointment and confirm it. The address is visible on the footer ( the large blue area, right at the bottom of every web page on the site).

It seems that some appear unable to find it, which can be puzzling. Hopefully, this answer should help with that.

When are you available? I can’t seem to find it.

I’m available by appointment, 7 days a week, from 09:00 am until midnight, however, the last massage needs to be booked well before, and must finish by midnight. Now you know why my nickname is Cinderella, lol. 😀

My availability information is also on the contact page.

How much notice should I give you?

Realistically, I need as much notice as possible. Many book at least a day or so before. Even then, the time an appointment is needed might not be available, because it’s already been taken. It’s how appointments go, sometimes.

If you’re lucky, you might be able to book an hour or so before, though this is rare. With massage, like anything else, you need to strike while the iron’s hot.

When you choose to book your appointment is in your control, within reason. However, if you contact me at 4 pm, expecting to be seen 15 to 20 minutes later, you’ve unfortunately very likely left it too late.

Do I need to bring anything?

There’s nothing you need to bring with you. Apart from yourself, and your massage fee ( unless you’ve paid into the bank already).

I have a shower for you to use if you need to, as well as a fresh laundered towel. 

I provide the massage oil ( a 50% blend of odourless Coconut and Rice Bran, heated to 42 degrees in a warmer). There’s also black coffee, or herbal teas, and plenty of filtered water.

Can I shower before the massage?

Yes, you can. In many cases, I’d recommend it. Some men can be really sweaty and clammy, especially when they’ve just left work. It’s important for all the massage I offer, since it’s very intimate. You need to ensure you’re intimate areas are squeaky clean, especially cock, sack and crack.

What sort of massage is it?

It’s possible it may have escaped your notice that the massage I offer is the sensual kind. It’s all designed by a man, for men. Have a read about what I do, and watch some of the videos. It’ll give you a good picture of what I do.

If you’re not sure what sensual means, and might want to study it further, then please follow this link to Collins Dictionary to be enlightened.

I can’t find your prices.

My prices are shown on the pricing page, inside a rather sexy table. Failing that, they’re also shown below the table in huge purple boxes. To save your time navigating to it, I’ve copied the style and price table for you below. 

Please get in touch if you’re not able to see it for any reason, and I’ll try to get it resolved.

Can I choose a Masseur I like?

As I’m a self-employed massage practitioner, who doesn’t employ anyone else, that could be difficult. The pictures and videos show me doing what I love most. So you’ll only be able to choose me.

If you don’t like how I look, that’s unfortunate. There are no other masseurs, or masseuses, to choose from, apart from my competitors.

You might, perhaps, try a more specific search term, if you’re looking for someone who doesn’t have my characteristics.

What do you look like? I can’t see any pictures

There are pictures of me on the website, but, for some reason, some can’t find them. To save your time being redirected to another page, I’ve put some here for you. I hope they’re helpful for you.

Can I just turn up for a massage?

No. Massage is by appointment only. It’s not a drop-in service. There’s no waiting room. It’s a private studio, in a Victorian house, which happens to be one of 8 apartments. 

This is why I’m discreet. I prefer to keep it that way.

When I’m busy, my phone is silenced, which avoids disturbing massage in progress. The buzzer is silenced for the same reason.

If you turn up, without first arranging an appointment, you risk wasting your time. 

When I’ve done my scheduled appointments, I love spending time weight training at the gym, and also love walking long distances in clement weather, when appointments allow.

I’ve arrived early. Can I come in now?

I prefer you not to arrive earlier than about 10 to 15 minutes. Appointments are arranged so you can have time set aside just for you. That time is sacred. 

For the sake of privacy and discretion, I would be worried about the possibility of you meeting the previous client when he’s on his way out. It is potentially very embarrassing for everyone. 

I pride myself on using discretion, and appreciate the same in others. 10 to 15 minutes early is quite reasonable enough. 

I don’t arrange back to back sessions, because I need to do the necessary cleaning and preparation between clients, and have time for a decent break. A shower, and time needed to be spiritually ready before someone arrives, is equally important.

If you’re more than 30-40 minutes early, I could be finishing a massage, in the middle of preparation, having food or taking a shower. The buzzer is silenced until I’m ready, and it’s likely my phone will be as well. So I won’t know you’re there.

If you’re too early, rather than my being calm and receptive to you, I would be on edge. Then, it takes time for me to settle properly into a massage. You would notice a profound difference in the dedication of the massage, especially if you’ve been to me before.

Can I change the appointment once it’s made?

If you do so in good time, I don’t have a problem with it at all. Very first thing in the morning is a suitably respectful time to let me know.

Sometimes, it’s not possible to shift an appointment. The same applies if you suddenly announce that you’re an hour early- it’s unfortunate, but there’s nothing that can be done. You can’t interrupt someone else’s session.

Whilst I can be a little flexible, it can only be if other appointments allow it. 

Cancelling 5 or 10 minutes before your appointment is due to begin suggests you didn’t really want the massage in the first place, nor will you reschedule if you do so. 

It does, unfortunately, prevent someone else from booking. So please bear in mind, if you do cancel at the last minute, it will prejudice you if you might choose to book in the future. It’s classed as a no-show, and is, sadly, a complete waste of time.

Do you do outcalls to my house or hotel?

This is no longer available. 

I did offer this many years ago. Unfortunately, there were a plethora of men who derived great entertainment from wasting time in various ways. So, I decided. Quite simply. No more. 

If I must come to you, it’ll be expensive. You’ll need to pay in advance, as well. I won’t be available during night hours. Cabs would be the only mode of transport, and late night fares are sky high. More importantly, I need my beauty sleep.

I’m trying to call you, but keep getting answerphone

Please be patient. When I’m doing a massage, the phone is silent, and I’m not available. 

You probably wouldn’t want your massage experience shattered by a sudden ringtone, so my phone is silenced before I begin. When my client has left, I switch it back to normal. I will do my best to respond as soon as circumstances allow. 

Night time calls can’t be answered, because the phone is scheduled to be silent from 10:30 pm through until 07:00 am. If you would care to leave me a short message, including your name and number, I’ll call you next morning. 

I do not return calls from international or long distance numbers.

I’ve sent several texts- you haven’t replied

If I’m busy, my phone is silent. I don’t like text alert tones, any more than ringtones, while I’m massaging. My clients pay for my time, which is as sacred to me as it is to them.

If you’re expecting immediate replies, you might be disappointed. I do my best to respond when I’m available. 

There’s something I want to know, but I can’t find it

Should this be the case, please let me know, and I’ll help all I can. It might also be helpful for me to post it as a question and answer topic.

Please confine any question to genuine, appropriate topics, and avoid asking personal questions.

Online Chat

The online chat facility is there to help you, when I’m online, and available to assist you.

I’m not available 24/7, so you might need to wait for a response. 

The chat widget is JavaScript powered, which means, it initially pops up automatically. Unless I’m online, and signed in, it’ll prompt you to send an offline message, or email. 

I have no way of knowing who you are when you chat, unless you choose to enter such information. 

Some men seem very offended, because I don’t recognise who they are. It doesn’t tell me what your name or phone number is. It isn’t necessarily accurate about your location. Please be polite, and remember, you’re speaking to me, and not a robot. 

Is the massage discreet?

Yes, absolutely. You probably found this website, because you searched for what I offer. 

It shows up for unique, long tail keyword search terms, because I want it to be discreet as well. 

It can’t be found for generic massage search terms, because it would be quite irrelevant, unless someone is looking for something I offer, of course.

Some men worry that my neighbours know what I do. They are, actually, blissfully unaware. This is very important, because I work from home. 

Nobody has the slightest idea why you’re here, or what you may be indulging in. So please don’t worry about being embarrassed. I certainly won’t be saying anything to anyone. 😊

The studio is primarily massage space, hence it’s lavish atmosphere. Without it, I’d have no home. After that, it’s my living space. 

I’m just as cautious as you are about keeping my massage low key. That’s another reason I prefer to use the partial address on the website. To put it all would probably be careless. I don’t like to think someone would turn up unexpectedly for a massage, especially during the night. 

Any car parking?

Birkbeck Road is a one-way street, approached from Uxbridge Road only. It leads to either a left, or right, turn at the top end into Churchfield Road. If you take a right, there’s a level crossing barrier for the London overground Station, Acton Central, which may cause a block while trains are due to leave or arrive. 

If you need to get back to Uxbridge Road, take a left at the top of Birkbeck Road, keep your eyes peeled for Sainsbury’s on the left, then take a left immediately after, going down Alfred Road. 

This takes you back to Uxbridge Road, where you can head left, towards Shepherd’s Bush, or right, towards Ealing Broadway. 

There are some payable parking spaces, at the lower and upper ends of the road. 

The larger part is parking permit only. It’s restricted from 09:30 am until 5:30 pm. After 5:30 pm you’re safe, the only difficulty then may be finding a space. 

Unfortunately, there is no off street parking available.