Questions and Answers

No, I’m not.

It’s clear that I offer massage services in Street, Somerset, near Glastonbury, now. It’s in gigantic writing, in the from of a header, visible as soon as the website loads, whichever page you land on.

I’ve written a blog post about it here “Moved to Street, Somerset.” Please read it. I believe in keeping you updated about my location. It would be unfair, and misleading, if I didn’t.

Anyone who sends me an online message, emails me via the website, or sends me a text message, having seen the website, you haven’t bothered to check the details before contacting me.

This is a waste of your time. I don’t have the time to waste replying to you, just to inform you that I am no longer available in London.

I get asked a lot about my personal details. What I do with, or to, other clients during a massage is confidential. Save your texts, emails and phone calls.  I won’t be going into any personal details or information. Though some think they’re entitled to ask, I’m under no obligation to answer.

I’m happy for you to contact me using WhatsApp if you prefer. This gives you more options to contact me than using text, email or phone, or by leaving an offline message on Tawkto.  I realise its a useful platform, and costs nothing to use, which can be a game changer.

I try to respond on WhatsApp whenever I can. Though it shows me as online when I’m connected to WiFi, I may not respond immediately if I’m doing a massage, or occupied in some way.

When you contact me on WhatsApp, let me know you’ve seen my website, so we’re on the same page.

FYI: I’m not into sexting, and will not get into inane, inappropriate, or personal details. Everything about me can be found on the website, if you need to know it.

If you’re feeling horny, I don’t chat. I don’t swap videos or pictures. Time is money.  I will charge for this. You’ll have to credit my bank with a specified amount first, or you’ll not get any response.

Essentially, no, it’s not.

Some men expect their massage to include ‘respectful intimate mutual touch.’ There’s nothing ‘respectful’ about touching me intimately without my consent.

Mutual touch is at my discretion. I have no contractual obligation to allow it.

In order that you get the very best massage, its usually best for there to be a good, strong connection between masseur and client.

For me, a good fit, is massaging fit men, ideally, between 21-50 years of age, in great physical shape.

I’m particularly attracted to, and especially, enjoy massaging guys who are sporty, and are dedicated fitness enthusiasts.

There are several who spring to mind:

Athletes,
Dancers,
Gymnasts,
Cyclists,
Runners,
Footballers,
Rugby players,
Bodybuilders,
Boxers,
Martial-Arts Enthusiasts,
Swimmers,
Personal Trainers

I like you to have a great sense of humour. I have a very quirky sense of humour. So, if you have, too, you’ll find we’ll be even more connected. Similarities, and things in common, especially a sense of humour, are great, because it means we’re on the same page.

Laughter is good for the Soul- there’s few sounds as lovely as laughter. A great sense of humour is like a form of escape. So I love it when you have a positive, sunny disposition, because it lights everyone’s lives up. And it makes you really special.

I particularly like men who are confident with themselves. Being confident is part of your identity. Being yourself is good. You’d have a very hard time being someone you’re not! Be human, and fallible. And be very real.

There are few places where you can really be yourself these days, and, surprisingly, it can be quite difficult with certain people. I prefer to be yourself, and I encourage you to be, so you get the most from your time with me. That way, I can be myself, too.

You can be of any ethnicity. If you’re open to new experiences, with an open heart, and open mind, will have the best massage.

Generally, most guys have great personal hygiene. However, I appear to have a large number of men coming for sensual/intimate massage, who are NOT adequately clean enough in their intimate areas. This is extremely disrespectful. It has, sadly, reached a point where I’ve had no choice but to address it directly.

I’m aware it’s a rant, but had to be done. If you might be offended by what I’m saying about personal hygiene, then you need to re-evaluate what you believe good personal hygiene involves.

Please arrive shower fresh

It is both unsafe, and extremely unpleasant, to be expected to massage anyone who smells of strong stale odours.This is particularly off-putting.  Worst of all, smells from a dirty backside, especially poo, are likely to cause contamination of my facilities. It should not be necessary for me to have to clean you, because you’ve turned up with a critty shack ( “Critty shack” is a polite way of saying “Shitty Crack,” for anyone who might be wondering what I mean).

Ensure you’re adequately clean in your intimate areas

There is nothing worse than being distracted by a pooey stench, because someone cannot be bothered to make sure they’ve cleaned up where it matters. From now on, especially for safety in this new COVID-19 world, you will be encouraged to take a bath or shower when you arrive. Whilst there, please, please, please- ensure you give yourself a good scrub on your arse.

If you refuse, then I will send you back home. It’s a matter of courtesy, safety and respect. Would you like having to massage someone, who’s bottom is so filthy, that your hands change colour when they’re put between the cheeks? I greatly doubt it.

In short, if you expect your arse to be massaged during your session, make certain it’s so clean, that one could eat dinner off it. I do not expect to have to find nasty surprises. Yesterdays gravy, greens, chicken nuggets, or chocolate fudge brownie, means you need to give your behind a damned good scrubbing. If you refuse to clean your arse, I will send you straight back home. I will also be unlikely to accept a further booking from you. It won’t be the first time I’ve been unavailable.

Very often, when doing a massage, when you are not adequately clean generally, I keep encountering lots of dead skin, which appears to form a crust on your body. This is where certain individuals haven’t properly cleaned their bodies prior to having a massage. I’m not referring to peeling skin, due to sunburn. I’m referring to people who simply never bother to ensure they are properly clean and scrubbed.

I have a real issue with this. I find the sensation of bits of dead skin slaking off someone’s skin quite distasteful, and, when I happen to pick it off, because it feels dreadful, they have the audacity to ask me “What are you picking off ?” Such a statement defies words. I will pick anyone one up on this strenuously, if I encounter it anymore.

It’s not much to ask. Thank you.

You are welcome to have massage. I’ll need to be able to trust you, though. I ask that you refrain from touching my body, or genitals, at any point during the massage, unless I invite you to.

If you do, without asking my permission first, I’ll expect you to stop immediately if I tell you to. Please bear in mind- I have no contractual obligation to let anyone touch me, if I don’t desire it. Please respect my wishes at all times, just as I will always respect yours.

The only men who get upset about my boundaries, are the ones who benefit if I don’t have any.

These are a source of constant annoyance. Please make sure you silence your mobile device, or turn it off when you arrive. I have some clients who have left their phones on, and insisted they stay next to them. Alarms and alert tones, ring tones, twitters, squeaks or whatever, is extremely distracting.

The result? Their massage gets ruined, because it’s interrupted. Numerous times. I become unsettled, because the unexpected noises pull me right out of the meditative state I entered when I began the massage.

I switch mine off, so that you are not disturbed. You’d be very sore at me if I left mine on.

Urgent matters needing your attention means that you are in the wrong frame of mind for massage, and you will not relax properly. Anything pressing should be out of the way. Please switch your phone off. If you don’t, I will. If you insist on leaving your phone on, I’ll insist you go back home. Thank you.

Appointments are only confirmed when I have received a 50% deposit. This can be done by bank transfer. If you prefer to be discreet, and the transaction to be private, you can pay the deposit in advance by cash in an envelope. Please see the details about this on the ‘making appointments’ page.

I work by appointment only, even though my hours are between 10:00am and 6:00 pm. I am very often emailed, sent a text message, or called, asking if I have immediate availability.  I’m not able to offer any short notice appointments. I may already be doing a massage. In this case, you won’t get an immediate reply.

Similarly, if you call me, you’ll go straight through to my voicemail. My phone is always silenced prior to starting, and always during a massage, to avoid disturbance.

I consider my clients at the centre of the Universe when they are paying for my time. To have any form of disturbance would be anathema to me or them.  As always, I’ll respond as soon as possible when I next become available.

It’s always better to check your schedule in good time, and try to book well in advance.  If you don’t, sadly, I can’t guarantee you’ll be seen when you wish to be. Please give this some thought.

Realistically, I need as much notice as possible. Many book at least a week or so before. Even then, the time an appointment is needed may not be available, because it’s already been taken. It’s how appointments go. The more notice, the better. With massage, like anything else, you need to strike while the iron’s hot.

When you choose to book your appointment is in your control, within reason. However, if you contact me at 4 pm, expecting to be seen 15 to 20 minutes later, you’ve left it too late.

Bear in mind, as well, you will need to pay a 50% non-returnable deposit before your booking is valid. I’ve had far too much of my time wasted, by ingenuous people that love pretending they want a massage, but have no intention of attending.

The massage I offer is sensual. It’s all designed by a man, for men. Have a read about what I do, and watch some of the videos. It’ll give you a good picture of what I do. If you don’t know what sensual is, I suggest you either look online, or have a look in a dictionary for the correct definition.

I can massage couples. However, there are one or two points to be born in mind.

The studio is very small. Space is, therefore, restricted. It’s not physically possible to massage both of you at the same time. That would result in a very unsatisfying massage. I dedicate my energy toward one person at a time.

More importantly, I am not the third person in a threesome. I am not a swinger, and do not become involved in this manner. If that’s what you’re looking for, I don’t provide it. You should consider checking out a website called fabswingers.com

The services I provide are aimed at solvent men only. Please be kind enough to check them first. Please don’t contact me, unless you’ve seen the prices, can afford my services, and have no issues.

I’m self-employed, and don’t employ anyone else, so that could be rather a challenge.  The pictures and videos show me doing what I love most. So you’ll only be able to choose me.

If you don’t like how I look, that’s unfortunate. There are no other masseurs, or masseuses, to choose from, apart from my competitors. You might, perhaps, try a more specific search term, if you’re looking for someone who doesn’t have my characteristics.

There are pictures of me on the website, but, for some reason, some can’t seem to find them. There’s a picture of me on the home page, and the about page.

There is also one of me in this section, if you want to see it.

Please be patient. When I’m doing a massage, the phone is silent, and I’m not available. 

You wouldn’t want your massage experience shattered by a sudden ringtone, so my phone is silenced before I begin. When my client has left, I switch it back to normal. I will do my best to respond, as soon as circumstances allow. 

Night time calls can’t be answered, because the phone is scheduled to be silent from 10:30 pm through until 07:00 am.

If you would care to leave me a short message, including your name and number, I’ll call you next morning if safe to do so.

I do not return calls or texts from international, or long distance numbers, nor callers who withhold their number.

I’m often asked questions about sex. Whilst I recognise I work with your sexual energy, the massage is not intended to be an opportunity to indulge in sex. Sexual expectations (what I call Sexpectations) create anxiety. There should be no expectation that you, or me, has to perform. That completely undermines what I am trying to achieve. Massage is supposed to be purely about touch, and the safety associated with touch.

I’m always conscious of your boundaries. Like you, I have boundaries as well. If you feel you are entitled to ‘Take’ ( by that, I refer to taking liberties), please do me the kindness of asking my permission first. Not doing so is theft, and can be very exhausting. I would never dream of taking liberties with you, without your permission. Things like that wouldn’t be enjoyable for you, and you’d never come back. If you need clarification, send me an email.

If I’m busy, my phone is silent. I don’t like text alert tones, any more than ringtones, while I’m massaging. My clients pay for my time, which is as sacred to me as it is to them. If you’re expecting an immediate reply, you might be disappointed. I do my best to respond when I’m next available. If, per chance, you may have asked me an inappropriate question, asked me about my personal details, then it’s entirely possible that I have probably blocked your number, and or deleted your messages. Please make certain that you send sensible, decent texts, and you’re more likely to get replies. 😊

Should this be the case, please let me know, and I’ll help all I can. It might also be helpful for me to post it as a question and answer topic to help other website visitors. Please confine any question to genuine, appropriate topics, and avoid asking personal questions.

Yes, indeed it can, as long as you follow any instructions I give during the massage, and allow your body to enjoy the succour of what I do. You must allow yourself to be fully self-aware and not be unduly distracted, otherwise it might not work.

It has a lot to do with your ability to truly relax. Many men fear that they’ll cum quickly, so they stop, rather than relaxing into the joy, and the energising benefits it can bring to have full body orgasms without ejaculating.

The online chat facility is there to help you, when I’m online, and available to assist you. I’m not available 24/7, so you’ll need to wait for a response.
The chat widget is powered by JavaScript. This means it pops up automatically. If I’m not actually online, and signed in, it’ll prompt you to send an offline message. I receive the message via email. I’m busy, so my availability to respond to online chat is limited.

I have no way of knowing who you are when you decide to use the online chat facility, unless you enter any information that I could identify you with. Some men are offended, because I don’t recognise who they are.

The chat widget doesn’t reveal your name or phone number, unless you choose to enter it. It isn’t even accurate about your location. Please be polite, and remember, you’re speaking to me, not a robot. Please keep your questions appropriate. It is not designed for arranging dinner-dates, or asking me personal questions.

Yes, absolutely. You searched for sensual gay massage. That’s what I offer. The keywords are unique for my services. Long tail keyword search terms are specific. I want it to be discreet as well. 
It can’t be found for generic search terms, because it would be irrelevant.