Questions and Answers

I get asked a lot about my personal details. What I do with, or to, other clients during a massage is confidential. Save your texts, emails and phone calls, because I won’t be getting into any personal details or information. There are, unfortunately, those who think I am under an obligation to do so. Just a reminder that nobody has any right whatsoever to ask. In my experience, only extremely rude people ever do this.

I’m happy for you to contact me using WhatsApp if you prefer. This gives you more options to contact me than using text, email or phone, or by leaving an offline message on Tawkto.  I realise its a useful platform, and costs nothing to use, which can be a game changer.

I try to respond on WhatsApp whenever I can. Though it shows me as online when I’m connected to WiFi, I may not respond immediately if I’m doing a massage, or occupied in some way.

When you contact me on WhatsApp, let me know you’ve seen my website, so we’re on the same page.

FYI: I’m not into sexting, and will not get into inane, inappropriate, or personal details. Everything about me can be found on the website, if you need to know it.

If you’re feeling horny, and think I should get into chat, and start swapping videos and pictures, think again. My time is money.  I will charge for this, and you’ll have to credit my bank with a specified amount first, or you’ll not get any response.

For there to be mutual touch, I will need to have a very good connection. To that end, we’ll need to be a good fit. Please look at the question “Are we a good fit?” below.

I don’t consent to mutual touch over the phone, by text, email, or WhatsApp, if I can’t see who’s asking.  If you ask,  send a current full photo via email or WhatsApp. This must show your physique and face, including your eyes, with no dark glasses. I prefer you to be wearing light clothing or shorts. No close-ups of other body parts. They’re not relevant, and will be ignored.

If you aren’t sure whether we’ll be a good fit, then my suggestion is to send a photograph, as detailed above.

Don’t assume you can touch me intimately without my inviting you. Be courteous. Ask my permission first.  I don’t have a contractual obligation to allow you to touch me, if I’m not attracted to you.

Bottom line: ask yourself this question.

Would you want to be touched up, groped, and or, have your genitals pulled about by someone you’re not physically attracted to?

In order that you get the very best massage, its usually best for there to be a good, strong connection between masseur and client.

For me, a good fit, is massaging fit men, ideally, between 21-50 years of age, in great physical shape.

I’m particularly attracted to, and especially, enjoy massaging guys who are sporty, and are dedicated fitness enthusiasts. There are several who spring to mind:

Athletes,
Dancers,
Gymnasts,
Cyclists,
Runners,
Footballers,
Rugby players,
Bodybuilders,
Boxers,
Martial-Arts Enthusiasts,
Swimmers,
Personal Trainers

I like you to have a great sense of humour. I have a very quirky sense of humour. So, if you have, too, you’ll find we’ll be even more connected. Similarities, and things in common, especially a sense of humour, are great, because it means we’re on the same page.

Laughter is good for the Soul- there’s few sounds as lovely as laughter. A great sense of humour is like a form of escape. So I love it when you have a positive, sunny disposition, because it lights everyone’s lives up. And it makes you really special.

I particularly like men who are confident with themselves. Being confident is part of your identity. Being yourself is good. You’d have a very hard time being someone you’re not! Be human, and fallible. And be very real.

There are few places where you can really be yourself these days, and, surprisingly, it can be quite difficult with certain people. I prefer to be yourself, and I encourage you to be, so you get the most from your time with me. That way, I can be myself, too.

You can be of any ethnicity. If you’re open to new experiences, with an open heart, and open mind, will have the best massage.

Generally, most guys have great personal hygiene. However, I appear to have a large number of men coming for sensual/intimate massage, who are NOT adequately clean enough in their intimate areas. This is extremely disrespectful. It has now, sadly, become necessary to address it. I’m aware that it’s quite a rant, but it’s had to be done. If you are offended by what I’m saying about personal hygiene, you might need to re-evaluate what you believe good personal hygiene might involve.

It is both unsafe, and extremely unpleasant, to be expected to massage anyone who smells. Strong, stale, sweaty odours, especially poo, are likely to cause contamination of my facilities. It should not be necessary for me to have to clean your backside, because you’ve turned up with a critty shack. ( “Critty shack” is a polite way of saying “Shitty Crack,” for anyone who might be wondering what I mean).

There is nothing worse than being distracted by a pooey stench, because someone cannot be bothered to make sure they’ve cleaned up where it matters. From now on, especially for safety in this new COVID-19 world, you will be expected to take a shower when you arrive. Whilst there, please, please, please ensure you give yourself a good scrub on your arse.

If you refuse, then I will send you back home. It’s a matter of courtesy, safety and respect. Would you like having to massage someone, who’s bottom is so filthy, that your hands change colour when they’re put between the cheeks? I greatly doubt it.

In short, if you expect your arse to be massaged during your session, make certain it’s so clean, that one could eat dinner off it. I do not expect to have to find nasty surprises. Yesterdays gravy, greens, chicken nuggets, or chocolate fudge brownie, means you need to give your behind a damned good scrubbing. If you refuse to clean your arse, I will send you straight back home. I will also be unlikely to take a booking from you, unless that habit changes pretty bloody quick.

Very often, when doing a massage, when you are not adequately clean generally, I keep encountering lots of dead skin, which appears to form a crust on your body. This is where certain individuals haven’t properly cleaned their bodies prior to having a massage. I’m not referring to peeling skin due to sunburn. I’m referring to people who simply never bother to ensure they are properly clean and scrubbed.

I have a real issue with this. I find the sensation of bits of dead skin slaking off someone’s skin quite distasteful, and, when I happen to pick it off, because it feels dreadful, they have the audacity to ask me “What are you picking off ?” Such a statement defies words. I will pick anyone one up on this most strenuously if I encounter it from now on.

It’s not much to ask. Thank you.

You are welcome to have massage. I’ll need to be able to trust you, though. I ask that you don’t touch me at any point during the massage, unless I invite you to.

If you do, without asking my permission first, and I don’t enjoy it, I’ll expect you to stop immediately if I tell you to. Please bear in mind that I have no contractual obligation to let anyone touch me, if I don’t desire it. Please respect my wishes at all times, just as I will always respect yours.

I don’t like sexual engagement of any sort with men I’m not physically attracted to.

The only men who get upset about me setting boundaries, are the ones who benefit if I don’t have any.

These are a source of constant annoyance. Please make sure you silence your mobile device, or turn it off when I arrive. I have some clients who have left their phones on, and insisted they stay next to them. Alarms and alert tones, ring tones, twitters, squeaks or whatever, is extremely distracting.

The result? Their massage gets ruined, because it’s interrupted. Numerous times. I become unsettled, because the unexpected noises pull me right out of the meditative state I entered when I began the massage.

I switch mine off, so that you are not disturbed. You’d be very sore at me if I left mine on.

Urgent matters needing your attention means that you are in the wrong frame of mind for massage, and you will not relax properly. Anything pressing should be out of the way. Please switch your off. Thank you.

I work by appointment only, even though my hours are between 10:00am and 8:00 pm. I am very often emailed, sent a text message, or called, asking if I have immediate availability.  I’m not able to offer short notice appointments. I may already be doing a massage, in a clients home, or at a hotel. In this case, you won’t get an immediate reply to a message.

Similarly, if you call me, you’ll go straight through to my voicemail. My phone is always silenced prior to starting, and always during a massage, to avoid disturbance.

I consider my clients at the centre of the Universe when they are paying for my time. To have any form of disturbance would be anathema to me or them.  As always, I’ll respond as soon as possible when I next become available.

It’s always better to check your schedule in good time, and try to book at least a day or so in advance of when you’d like an appointment for.  If you don’t, sadly, I can’t guarantee you’ll be seen when you wish to be. Please give this some thought.

Realistically, I need as much notice as possible. Many book at least a day or so before. Even then, the time an appointment is needed might not be available, because it’s already been taken. It’s how appointments go, sometimes, unfotunately.

If you’re lucky, you might be able to book an hour or so before, though this is rare. With massage, like anything else, you need to strike while the iron’s hot.

When you choose to book your appointment is in your control, within reason. However, if you contact me at 4 pm, expecting to be seen 15 to 20 minutes later, you’ve unfortunately left it too late.

The massage I offer is sensual. It’s all designed by a man, for men. Have a read about what I do, and watch some of the videos. It’ll give you a good picture of what I do. If you don’t know what sensual is, and might like to find out, it might be an idea to find out either online or having a look in a dictionary for the correct definition.

The services I provide are aimed at solvent men only. The prices for outcalls are on the relevant pages for each massage style offered. Please be kind enough to check them first. Please don’t contact me unless, you’ve seen the prices, can afford my services, and have no issues.

I’m self-employed, and don’t employ anyone else, so that could be rather a challenge for you.  The pictures and videos show me doing what I love most. So you’ll only be able to choose me.

If you don’t like how I look, that’s unfortunate. There are no other masseurs, or masseuses, to choose from, apart from my competitors. You might, perhaps, try a more specific search term, if you’re looking for someone who doesn’t have my characteristics.

There are pictures of me on the website, but, for some reason, some can’t seem to find them. There’s a picture of me on the home page, and the about page.

There is also one of me in this section, if you want to see it.

Please be patient. When I’m doing a massage, the phone is silent, and I’m not available. 

You wouldn’t want your massage experience shattered by a sudden ringtone, so my phone is silenced before I begin. When my client has left, I switch it back to normal. I will do my best to respond, as soon as circumstances allow. 

Night time calls can’t be answered, because the phone is scheduled to be silent from 10:30 pm through until 07:00 am.

If you would care to leave me a short message, including your name and number, I’ll call you next morning if safe to do so.

I do not return calls from international or long distance numbers, nor callers who withhold their number.

I’m often asked questions about sex. Whilst I recognise I work with your sexual energy, the massage is not intended to be an opportunity to indulge in sex. Sexual expectations (what I call Sexpectations) create anxiety. There should be no expectation that you, or me, has to perform. That completely undermines what I am trying to achieve. Massage is supposed to be purely about touch, and the safety associated with touch.

I’m always conscious of your boundaries. Like you, I have boundaries as well. If you feel you are entitled to ‘Take’ ( by that, I refer to taking liberties), please do me the kindness of asking my permission first. Not doing so is theft, and can be very exhausting. I would never dream of taking liberties with you, without your permission. Things like that wouldn’t be enjoyable for you, and you’d never come back. If you need clarification, send me an email.

If I’m busy, my phone is silent. I don’t like text alert tones, any more than ringtones, while I’m massaging. My clients pay for my time, which is as sacred to me as it is to them. If you’re expecting an immediate reply, you might be disappointed. I do my best to respond when I’m next available.

Should this be the case, please let me know, and I’ll help all I can. It might also be helpful for me to post it as a question and answer topic to help other website visitors. Please confine any question to genuine, appropriate topics, and avoid asking personal questions.

Yes, indeed it can, as long as you follow any instructions I give during the massage, and allow your body to enjoy the succour of what I do. You must allow yourself to be fully self-aware and not be unduly distracted, otherwise it might not work.

It has a lot to do with your ability to truly relax. Many men fear that they’ll cum quickly, so they stop, rather than relaxing into the joy, and the energising benefits it can bring to have full body orgasms without ejaculating.

The online chat facility is there to help you, when I’m online, and available to assist you. I’m not available 24/7, so you’ll need to wait for a response.
The chat widget is JavaScript powered, which means, it initially pops up automatically. Unless I’m online, and signed in, it’ll prompt you to send an offline message, or email. Because I’m doing outcalls, my availability to respond to online chat is extremely limited.

I have no way of knowing who you are when you chat, unless you choose to enter this information.
Some men are very offended, because I don’t recognise who they are.

The chat widget doesn’t reveal your name or phone number, unless you choose to enter it. It isn’t even accurate about your location. Please be polite, and remember, you’re speaking to me, not a robot. Please keep your questions appropriate. It is not designed for arranging dinner-dates, or asking me personal questions.

Yes, absolutely. You probably found this website, because you searched for what I offer. 
It shows up for unique, long tail keyword search terms, because I want it to be discreet as well. 
It can’t be found for generic massage search terms, because it would be quite irrelevant, unless someone is looking for something I offer, of course.